I’m always here


Posted on May 10th

Like a lot of you – I watched the Corrie Episode showing Aidans suicide, whilst I think it was done tastefully….it really got to me.

I dont have any actual experience with suicide and I cant even begin to imagine what anyone must be going through to turn to suicide….it literally hurts me to even think about it and I cant even imagine what their loved ones must be going through also.

The thing is Mental Health is still a taboo subject, yes people are a lot more open than they used to be, but I still think we dont talk about how we feel enough.

Society and pressures and social media play a part and also that it can be “frowned” upon to be seen to be showing our feelings and emotions and it can make you feel vulnerable and that people may think you are weak.

Ive never been suicidal BUT I do struggle to open up to people, I think I am wonder woman and I can take on the world, but inside I can be crumbling…and I can imagine this is where people sometimes start and it escalates…again Im no expert.

Ive had dark times (as I am sure a lot of people have) and Ive been through my fair share of bad times…..Ive had 2 major breakdowns in my life (and Im still going through one) and still now Is struggle to get out of bed some days, I smile, laugh and paint on this “show business” image when I am teaching…but sometimes I cry when I drive home from classes….sometimes I get so down that I cant get out of bed, sometimes I dont know where to turn…..I feel I am losing control at times…..BUT then sometimes (and mostly) Im a happy soul, I love life, Im grateful for every moment and I am a positive and upbeat person…..but remember even the most positive and happiest of people have that air of darkness inside them that eats away (OK WOW…Im filling up writing this…..and its took me a LOT to open up here, but I am hoping in doing so….that I just help 1 person know they are not alone)

A smile can hide a thousand tears, a laugh can hide a broken heart and I think we all could be a little kinder and compassionate not just to other people but to ourselves……lets be honest we are our own worst critic always.

I know people say this but I just wanted to throw it out there….if you are ever alone, afraid, scared to just in need of someone to be there…please, please reach out to me.

I dont care id you hardly know me or if you are my best friend, I will always be here

2am or 2pm….by phone or online.

Please never suffer alone

Even if you just want to sit in silence…..cry, talk, scream, walk anything…Im here.

I want to help as many people as I can realize that their mental health is just as important as their physical health

I want to help many people understand they are not alone

I want to help people realize their true potential and how loved they are in this world.

No1 ever deserves to go through these times, but it happens and it happens a lot more than people think.

Im here for anyone, anytime…..I will never judge or try and solve the problem, I will listen and be the light in your darkness